Thursday, May 3, 2012

S*** On My Mind

Or what is left of it...

First, glad to see that 'people who Goggle might actually listen to' have started bitchin' about being forced into G+.

Second, I have solved the dilemma of the new D&D and am now ready to unveil the master plan where Pinky and I will...oh...wrong...anyway...

Say Hello To:


Complete with 4 exciting new classes:

Stoopid Guy
Hot Chick

The entire game must be made up on the spot. If someone doesn't finally say 'Are you just pulling this out of your ass or what' then you are doing it wrong.

All weapons do 1 point of damage except crossbows and you have to ricochet the bolt off a wall to do 3 points of damage.

All spells require a success roll of a natural 20 to work or they fail and a roll is made on the fail chart for the bad result, like getting turned into a chicken.

At least part of the rules must be in a foreign language that no one speaks so as to give it a true 'old skool' feel and something for fanboys to argue over on forums.

Monsters Will Include:

Tree Stump-Special Attack: Stumble

Bumble Bees-Special Attack: Stings like a mutha

Drunken Dwarf-Special Attack: Urine

Broken Beer Bottle:See Drunken Dwarf

And last but not least, Abominable Joesky, the Barbarian (watch out for that loin cloth-Save vs Death if you get within smelling range)

That's about my 15% for now, but we will be play testing this at the Shady Hills Rest Home at some point so stay tuned for exciting updates to the One Game!